The best thing about blogs are the strange quirks about bloggers that you sometimes get to discover. It might take several hours of blog rummaging to discover why one of my favourite bloggers - India Uncut has this thing for cows but nevertheless it always amuses.
Why, the man has this post up, from where you can link to his 33 previous posts on these symbols of bovinity.
But that's not all, the man even has other people dedicate cow poetry and haiku to him.
This is more than strange, wonderful and bloody hilarious. This is INSPIRING.
So dedicated to all other cow lovers everywhere and in the likeness of the one poem I hated the most as a kid, here follows my poem: equal parts simple reflection on cow behavior and equal parts statement on human treatment of the cow.
The Daffodil Cow
I wandered lonely as a cow
That grazes 'neath the shady trees
When at once and upon me now
Was a blighted swarm - nasty bees
They had a death grip on my tail
I waved it 'bout to no avail.
I'm different from the rest and how
My qualities are not equine
I'm more than just a bloody cow
Goddamn it human, I'm divine.
I can give thee buckets of milk
Don't my udders feel like silk?
When I chew my cud and stand still
You honk your horn and yell out, "Move"
Oh human, take a nice chill pill
Such actions do not you behoove.
When you go nuts behind the wheel
How do you think we creatures feel?
Just look at what you do to us
Cows populated the epics.
Now you men simply yell and cuss
Pull our tails and make us do tricks
You treat us so; I curse you now
In your next life you'll be a cow.
(ok, so maybe I'm bored) :-p
3 comments:
That was an udderly hilarious read. Wonder if Wordsworth envisioned that!
I never saw a purple cow.
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.
--Gelet Burgess
And, of course, for those Gelet Burgess lovers:
Ah, Yes! I wrote "The Purple Cow"
I'm sorry, now, I wrote it!
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'll kill you if you quote it!
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